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Bridge building & non-dual seeing

Our world is doing violence to us. How? By pulling us apart, by pushing us to see in dual or binary ways, and suggesting that we must always choose a side.

  • Either Black Lives Matter or Blue Lives Matter.
  • Either you are pro life (against the legalization of abortion) or you are against life.
  • Either you believe the way I do, or your “out.”
  • Someone/something is either good or evil.
  • You must be either for or against something.

The pressure to choose one and reject the other is taring us apart – from each other and from ourselves. Not only do we feel pressured to choose sides, it then temps us to see the other side as evil.  We are drifting further and further apart to the point that we no longer listen to the other but rather we lob verbal attacks from opposites sides of the room.

The further apart we are the louder we must yell,  and the louder we yell the harder it is to listen. Last week at One Church we talked about the idea of bridgbuilding (you can watch here), something I am more and more convinced is so important.

Building a bridge doesn’t mean you agree with the other. It doesn’t mean that you throw away personal convictions or opinions. Building a bridge means you actively seek to understand the other, work in areas where you have common ground (there is almost always ways to do this), and build relationships with that person.

Most of us know that it is easier to demonize a faceless group, but once you get to know an actual person from that group, once you swap stories, ask questions, and better understand why they hold those convictions, it is much more difficult. You find yourself closer to each other.  You no longer need to yell, but can have an actual conversation – even if you don’t fully agree.

Uniformity isn’t the goal, listening and understanding is.

Here are some practical steps each of us can take to build bridges and begin to see the world in non dual ways:

building-bridges-paulo-zerbato

  1. Ask questions

When you meet someone who sees the world differently than you, whether it is political, religious, economic, or it is specific issues such as health care, parenting, education, if your like me, you are tempted to jump to all the reasons why their view is wrong. Asking questions is the first and most difficult step because most of us have very strong opinions and and are passionate about why we hold those opinions. Someone shares a different opinion and often we see red; our blood pressure begins to climb, and our heart feels like it’s going to jump out of our chest. These are very real physiological changes that take place. Perhaps taking several deep breathes to engage our parasympathetic nervous system may be a practice we can all engage in to help calm this “flight or fight” response that is hardwired into each of us.

2. Research

If there is something you don’t quite understand, it is natural for us to fear that thing/idea/person. The more we understand, the less we fear. The less we fear, the more open we become. This is one reason why education is so important.

Fear closes us off to others, but understanding opens us up.

3. Develop relationships

What would the world look like if we all took one meal and invited someone we least understood to share that meal with us? Maybe it’s a person of another religion, political view, ethnicity, or sexual orientation than us. How often do we ignore or pass by these people? If your like me, you try to not to engage with others you don’t understand. This will only contribute to the dual ways we see the world and perpetuate violence.

What would the world look like if every religious person took time to visit a different place of worship? What if they did so strictly to ask questions and learn and refused to share their thoughts, opinions, beliefs or reasons why they disagree. How great would that be?

Most likely, we all have people in our lives, people we interact with on a weekly basis with whom we know little or nothing about. Taking time to ask questions, do a little reading, and be intentional at developing relationships are practical ways to build bridges in our world.

Personality type and spiritual formation

If you know me at all you know that I am pretty obsessed with personality typing. I often catch myself talking to others about their Myers Briggs or Enneagram type. Sometimes, I confess, I take it a little too far and have to remind myself (or more accurately my wife reminds me) that there is more to the person than their personality type.

Some people believe that personality typing places people inside a box, but I have found that it actually exposes the boxes I put myself in and gives me ways to get out of the box – this is especially true of the Enneagram. Here are two ways that understanding personality has helped me grow.

  1. It brings compassion.

I heard someone talk about the Enneagram recently as a tool that increases your compassion toward others because you begin to understand that other people don’t think like you. I cannot tell you how many “discussions” (ok sometimes they are more than “discussion”) my wife and I have had concerning trite things like toothpaste, where something belongs, or how to go about cleaning the bathrooms. While at the time they always seem important, they are usually very small things, and they often reflect how we see the world differently. In hindsight I can see that our approaches differ because we have different personalities – thank God!

For example, I am an idealist who lives in my head and dreams of the future. My wife lives in the here and now (something that takes me a lot of practices to do and thus a trait I greatly admire) and takes the world in through her senses. She is much better at remembering street signs or where a certain grocery store is located. When we drive, I am daydreaming about what someone said, what I heard, what I read, or trying to make connections concerning some theory or model concerning the future of the universe (Yes I somehow tend to avoid collisions as I have only totalled one vehicle). My wife, on the other hand, is taking in all the information that is passing her by in the immediate “here and now.”

I also dislike (well actually cannot stand!) clutter. If it were up to me, my car would always be washed, waxed, and vacuumed and our house with minimal things inside. For my wife, clutter isn’t near as big of a deal as having fun, making memories, and enjoying whatever the present brings – I wish I were more like her and I am hoping that she will wear off on me.

Understanding that we don’t take in information, we don’t process information, and we don’t make decisions in the same way can bring about greater compassion for your spouse, your parents, your children, your boss, and all your relationships. I heard someone recently say that the different Enneagram types is similar to wearing different glasses – it greatly influences what we see and what we pay attention to. The struggle for me is reminding myself this on a regular basis as I so quickly forget.

2. Others experience/see the sacred differently.

This is one area I have been thinking about (or daydreaming) a lot recently. I often ask people their MBTI or Enneagram and I have noticed that some are more naturally drawn to things like contemplative spirituality while others find it much more difficult and less helpful.

For example, many NFs (particularly INFx’s) are almost mystic by nature. If someone is an Enneagram type four this is also true (and even more pronounced if they are a type 4 and an NF!). Many believe Thomas Merton was a type four and he is often seen as an example for many modern mystics. It is much more difficult for an extrovert (though obviously not impossible) to engage in contemplative practices and if that person is an S (sensing) or a T (thinking) on the MBTI it is even more likely they will find contemplative practices more difficult.

role-proportions-chart

I use contemplative practices as an example because as an INFJ I have found it very helpful, yet my tendency is to think that everyone would benefit from it in the same way I do and thus herald it as the thing.

What I have noticed in myself and in plenty of others is that we tend to think that how we view the world is how others do. As spiritual people we also tend to think that what works best for us may work best for someone else – this often leads to cookie cutter approaches to spirituality.  We can see this to be true in many others ways, e.g., exercise, diet, politics, education, parenting, leadership etc. I think we tend to forget that other people see the world differently and an exercise or diet that may work great for me may not work all that well for someone else.

In the end, the more I understanding the different personalities the more it opens me up to see and appreciate diversity – diversity of thoughts, opinions, worldviews, choices etc. I do still struggle, however, often thinking that my own opinions are the correct ones and that since I love yoga everyone should. Yet, I am reminded that while yoga may work well for me, some people just need an intense, high energy workout. While contemplative practices may be a more natural fit and very beneficial for me, others may need a place to serve, a place to share, or loud music to just let it all go. Sometimes I wish my wife saw the world exactly how I do, but would I really want to be married to myself? (just i case there is any question let me answer this clearly…hell no!)

There is beauty in diversity. Diverse foods, people, places, and things. I have much room to grow when it comes to compassion toward others and understanding that others may see and approach the sacred differently than I, but understanding the different personality types has helped me.

Perhaps you feel frustrated because others connect with the divine in a certain way that does not work for you.

Perhaps you found that certain spiritual practices, books, teachings, etc work well for others, but they just don’t work well for you.

Perhaps you wonder if you are odd because you don’t see God the same way that many around you do.

Spiritual formation, while leading us all to greater love and compassion, may look radically differently from person to person. As we better understand that we are all hardwired a little differently, maybe we can have more grace for the way others think and be more open to different ways and approaches to life and spirituality.

 

Process theology part IV – pastoral ministry

I wouldn’t call myself a process theist, though there is nothing about process that I have a problem or disagree with. I would say that I have been deeply influenced by process theology and that it makes sense to both my intellect and my experience in this world, but I’m not 100% sold that this is the way it is. I am open to parts of process being wrong, incomplete, or ways others may experience the world. Below I will list several of the major ways I see that process theology can have a positive influence on pastoral ministry.

  1. Creates more openness

Yes, it can open the pastor up to see the many ways God may be working in different situations and people. Also, there may not be one right and one wrong choice, but there may be many choices, sometimes with varying degrees of good or bad. Instead of having a great deal of pressure to find the “one way” or “one correct choice,” the pastor is free to explore multiple choices and to allow a lot more “wiggle room” for others to do so as well. This will automatically allow the pastor to be less rigid, as each person is given more freedom to create their future. The idea that there may be several good options and God may not care which one (or God only cares that we don’t choose certain ones) brings a sense of freedom and creativity that I think our worlds needs more of. This lack of freedom and creativity is also a major reason why many are distancing themselves from organized religion.

  1. Invitation to partner with God

Process theology invites people into a co creative act with God in a way that more traditional theologies do not. Since the future is open and yet to be created (the future is not predetermined), there is a lot of work that can be done. Of course with this can come some pressure as there is also a lot of responsibility, but I think most would see this as a wonderful opportunity – we get to create a future with God and our actions really matter! In this regard, the decisions we make may be varying degrees of participation with God as we open ourselves up to God’s leading in each situation.

  1. Everything is interconnected

When a pastor believes that all things are relational and thus interconnected, his or her vision is much larger. It’s not just about saving souls from going to hell, or about convincing everyone who is not a Christian that they are wrong, but it is a way to see that every life matters, every creature matters, and our earth matters. Some theologies are very short sighted and even destructive as they are merely “evacuation plans.” In process theology everyone is invited to see with new lenses the ways that all our choices affect others for better or worse. Our diet, our transportation, our clothing, our lifestyle are all-important because they have affects on others. When all things are relational we see all things with greater value. This leads to a much more expansive view of the world that includes not just human souls, but all creation!

  1. God is for the flourishing of all things.

This is related to the others, but is a wonderful way to see the world. In process theology, God is not an angry, judgmental tyrant. Nor does God require blind obedience. God will not punish you just because you didn’t obey. Clearly there are consequences to not following the lure or initial aim of God, but this is greatly different than receiving punishment for not obeying. If God is working for all things to flourish, then God is working for each individual to flourish. It becomes more about opening yourself up to God’s aim than it does about obeying a directive. A pastor can help others understand that God is not waiting for them to mess up or carrying a list of the people who are naughty and nice, but is always working on their behalf. For so many people this will be absolutely freeing! This also means that God is not only working for my flourishing, but for yours, and for all creation. This brings a larger perspective than the common and narrow anthropocentric view of many theologies. God wants all creation to flourish and when we participate in the flourishing of other things we are participating with God. There are numerous ways one can do this, so a pastor can encourage others that they are doing sacred work even in the ordinary things.

  1. God is not a “being out there,” but is personal and near.

Many picture God as somewhere a long ways away sitting on a throne. Process informs us that God is here and very active in the world. A pastor who has a panetheistic view of the world can encourage others to see all the ways God may be working in the world, or to at least be open to see that perhaps God is working in ways they cannot see. When “all things are in God” then all things become sacred. Pastors can help others see that teaching, office work, running a business, cleaning, laundry, organizing, creating art, music, poetry, non profit work, are all sacred tasks and God is working through all of it. It also brings God a lot closer. God is not a distant deity that sometimes acts in extreme circumstance, but is present in every thing and working in all.

Obviously these are just a few ways, and many of them are related. A process informed pastor can meet the real needs of people when they are hurting and broken because they understand that that a persons loss or pain was not caused by God. A pastor can walk through these difficult times, even if they cannot give absolute reasons why they were caused, and help bring healing and wholeness to the lives of those around them.

I think many people are in need of a different way of seeing God and a different way of understanding how God interacts in the world. The more traditional ways of seeing God are not working and process theology gives us a great way of understanding a God that not only makes intellectual sense to many, but can also be helpful and healing to those who have struggled or are struggling with more traditional ways of understanding God. A pastor does not need to mention the word process or go into the ins and outs of the specifics of process theology. Being pastoral is providing care and guidance to people, especially in difficult times. Process theology can have a very positive influence upon those providing this care as it provides a way to engage in the world that makes sense to many modern people.

 

 

Process theology part 2 – attributes of God

God has been given many different attributes as humans wrestle with ways to understand and explain who God is. Several of the most common attributes have been:

  • Impassibility – cannot experience emotions such as pain, suffering etc.
  • Immutability – changeless
  • Omnipresence -present everywhere
  • Omniscience – all-knowing
  • Omnipotence – all-powerful

god

Process theologians argue that these attributes have been falsely given or at least wrongly defined, and that this has led to a grave misunderstanding about God’s interaction with the world and why evil exists. In this post I will explore each of these attributes very briefly from a process theological perspective. (Since omnipotence is the most difficult attribute to see differently, and the attribute that most informs how one answers the problem of evil, I will attempt to explain why process theologians argue that omnipotence is a false attribute while dealing with the problem of evil in the next post.)

Impassibility:

In classical theology God “is not subject to suffering, pain, or the ebb and flow of involuntary passions.”[1] As I shared in the last post (part 1), at the very foundation of process philosophy is the belief that all of reality is relational, and because all reality is relational, God must also be relational. By definition a relational entity must be able to affect and be affected by others.[2] Central to Christian theology is the idea that God has incarnated Godself in Jesus who suffered and was crucified on a cross. In other words, God suffers in Jesus who hangs upon a cross. How could one suffer and not be changed? It is impossible. Process theologians deny the impassibility of God and instead see God as one who not only affects, but is also affected by others.

Immutability:

Immutability is the belief that God cannot change.[3] Early Christian theologians – influenced heavily by Greek philosophy – believed that God’s perfection must mean that God cannot change. Process theologians argue that God does indeed change because God, like everything else in the cosmos, is relational (see previous post on more concerning this). In essence, God is not the “unmoved mover,” but the “most moved mover.”

Omnipresence:

Omnipresence is an attribute that both process theologians and traditional theologians agree upon. Process theology may differ slightly in that process theology often leads to panentheism. Panentheism is not to be confused with pantheism, and is not exclusive to process theologians as some non-process theologians would also consider themselves panentheists. Pantheists believe that “all things together are God” while Panentheists believe that “all things are in God.”[4] Process theologians tend to view the entire cosmos as part of God, though God is not limited to any one part of the cosmos. In a process perspective the interconnectedness of all things is central, and this includes God’s interconnectedness to all of creation.[5]

Omniscience:

Omniscience, or all knowing, has been traditionally interpreted to mean that God knows everything past, present, and future.[6] Omniscience is an attribute that process theologians tend to keep, but they redefine this (similar to open theists, but with slight variations). Many have understood God to be outside of time. One way to understand this is to think of God as viewing time like we read a book. God can turn the pages from past, present, or future as God looks on from beyond. Process theologians agree with traditional theology in that God knows the past completely and the present perfectly as it unfolds, but differs in that they believe even God cannot yet know the future.[7] Since actualities (e.g., humans) have some self-determining power and are partially self-creative, the future is not yet determined and thus cannot be known as determined.[8] In this regard, process theologians believe that God’s knowledge is omniscient in that it is perfect knowledge – full knowledge of all that can be known including complete knowledge of the past and present, and full knowledge of all future possibilities. One process thinker explains this by writing, “if God has perfect knowledge of the world and of me, God will know exactly what all of the possibilities are and how probable they are. But even with perfect knowledge God could not know what I will choose in the future because that choice has not yet been made and it is a real choice.”[9] Process theologians argue that if God knows the future as determined than real freedom would be impossible.[10] Hartshorne summarizes this by writing, “future events, events that have not yet happened, are not there to be known.”[11]

Next post I will explore the attribute of omnipotence and the problem of evil from a process perspective.

 

 

[1] “Impassibility of God,” Theopedia, accessed June 9, 2016. http://www.theopedia.com/Impassibility_of_God

[2] Ibid., 30.

[3] “Immutability of God,” Theopedia, accessed June 9, 2014. http://www.theopedia.com/Immutability_of_God

[4] C. Robert Mesle, Process Theology: A Basic Introduction (St. Louis: Chalice Press, 1993), 137.

[5] John B. Cobb, Jr. and David Ray Griffin, Process Theology: An Introductory Exposition (Philadelphia: Westminster Press, 1976), 52.

[6] “Omniscience of God,” Theopedia, accessed June 9, 2014. http://www.theopedia.com/Omniscience_of_God

[7] Cobb, Jr. and Griffin, Process Theology, 52.

[8] Ibid., 52.

[9] Mesle, Process Theology, 37.

[10] Ibid., 37.

[11] Charles Hartshorne, Omnipotence and other Theological Mistakes (New York: State University, 1984), 39.

Stages of Spiritual Growth

Roughly 5 years ago I began a process that took me into a deep internal struggle. The worldview which was handed down to me no longer worked and as I was pursuing ministry, involved in leadership at my church, and finishing up my undergrad degree in Biblical Studies. It became more and more apparent that the ground beneath me that once seemed so solid was quickly falling.

This experience lasted for more then several years, and if I’m honest I am probably still journeying through bits of it. It was a faith crises of sorts, and through this struggle I have discovered a deeper, but very different way of being a person of faith and spiritual conviction. Along the way, I learned about the stages of faith. Both James Fowler and Psychiatrist M. Scott Peck have written about this spiritual developmental theory. My only regret is that I did not discover it sooner. M. Scott Peck gives four simple and important stages to spiritual development. These stages are as follows:

stepsSLANTED-copy

Stage I: Chaotic – antisocial.

As an infant we enter into this life thinking the world revolves around us. We all begin in stage I. It is a time of chaos or lawlessness in that we are not sure what is true, good, or right. At stage I we are selfish and seek our own self interests. Some have suggested that prison is a stage I institution in that it places limits on those who don’t or can’t control themselves as part of a larger society.

Stage II: Formal – institutional.

As we grow, we begin to seek stability and a sense of security. This stability is most often given in the form of large institutions and/or a person(s) of authority. We seek to know what should be, what is true, right, and good. We often learn this from religious organizations (or other places such as the military). This stage is helpful and necessary in spiritual development, but unfortunately most religious people and institutions remain at stage II.

Stage III: Skeptical – individual.

While many remain at stage II, some begin to question the institutions, structures, and those in authority. This is often reflected during the teenage years as this person begins to question their parents authority and their rules. Religiously, many who enter into stage III begin to question the doctrines, dogma, and beliefs that have been handed down to them. Many who enter into stage III believe this to be the last and final stage. The college or university are often associated with this stage.

Stage IV: Mystical – communal.

Few people enter into stage IV. One enters into stage IV when they continue to seek out the sacred and walk through the skepticism, questions, and doubts of stage III. People in stage IV may be religious or may not, but they all share some form of deep knowing and appreciation for the divine or sacred as Great Mystery. Instead of clear answers and black and white thinking as seen in stage II, people in stage IV value questions, experience, mystery, and the journey toward discovering more. While often in stage II we are very closed off and dogmatic, in stage IV people are open to experiencing new and different things and working with those who do not see things the same way. They realize that no creed, doctrine, dogma, book, or religion can fully capture the Sacred. Often they are deeply committed to their own particular wisdom tradition, but they are open to learning from others. While stage III people are more individualistic, people in stage IV see the great value of community.

Some thoughts:

Looking back, I can see that five years ago I was pushing back against a stage II environment. I was questioning, wrestling, and struggling – the “institution” (i.e., church) was not giving me answers that worked or made sense to my experience, thoughts, and beliefs. The journey from stage II to stage III often brings a crisis of faith, and many never recover or move past stage III for one of two reasons: either they are sick and tired of the whole “religious” thing and are over it entirely (they chuck it all out or see it as only a crutch), or they have no idea that there is a stage IV and have never encountered anyone who lived at this stage. Often many people at stage III associate religion or spirituality with stage II because often there experiences reflect this.

Some people are at stage I and the traditional forms of religion at stage II are exactly what they need. I believe this is why churches are growing in certain parts of the world – it is a necessary and important step in spiritual growth. But, many in the western world are at stage III and they see much of religion at stage II. In other words, it feels like a step backwards.

What I hope to be growing into (I don’t claim to be there yet) is stage IV. I have struggled with being a pastor because much of what I have known has been stage II religion. I realize that being at stage IV means that you may speak some of the same language as people at stage II, but mean different things. Thus, there is a tension because people at stage II will see you as a threat and people at stage III will often think you are at stage II because of your language.

I believe we are in desperate need of stage IV leaders, pastors, CEOs, business people, parents, counselors, teachers, etc. Our world will grow when those at stage IV have the courage to step out, speak, and lead. These people may be misunderstood, seen as a threat, or even seen by some as naive, but many of the great movements of history have been lead by people who took this risk. Stage IV people are sometimes called the mystics – they see beyond what most can see.

We need people who can see what most cannot. We need people who can help teach others to see beyond stage II or III and into another, more deeper way of being human and brings the heart and the mind together and works toward a more just and generous world.

 

 

Is the Bible Inerrant?…and did God command genocide?

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog about the first chapter of Peter Enns new book The Bible Tells me so…why Defending Scripture Has Made Us Unable To Read It.

ennsreview-1

I have since finished the book, it’s fantastic!

I wanted to reflect on what I saw as the main points of the book and where I resonated the most.

The main point of the book is that too many people have attempted to defend the Bible as an inerrant rule book that gives one harmonious story and picture of God, and this view has thus hindered them from reading the Bible as it is.

Enns’s conclusion?

The Bible doesn’t behave like a divinely dictated, inerrant rule book. The Bible contradicts itself, gives various pictures of God, and often tells stories that are not factually or historically true.

Enns jumps right into the complexity by dealing with one of the hardest stories in the Hebrew Scriptures, the genocide of the Canaanites that was commanded by God.

In the book of Joshua it states, “For it was the Lord’s doing to harden their hearts so that they would come against Israel in battle, in order that they might be utterly destroyed, and might receive no mercy, but be exterminated, just as the Lord had commanded Moses.”

dt20_16-17

Enns writes, “It’s hard to appeal to the God of the Bible to condemn genocide today when the God of the Bible commanded genocide yesterday.”

Enns goes a step further and writes, “…this God is flat-out terrifying: he comes across as a perennially hacked-off warrior-god, more Megatron than heavenly Father.”

If you are like me and have struggled with understanding how a loving God could command such atrocities your not alone!

Enns shows that the archeological evidence suggests the annihilation of the Canaanites never happened. (I have written about the historical inaccuracy of this here.)That’s correct…what the Bible claims to have happened appears to have never taken place…at least not on the scale that the story claims.

Before we get into other places where the Bible contradicts itself ( in Joshua it says that they annihilated all the Canaanites except for a few, but Judges makes it clear there were many still alive), we still need to answer the question of why this story is in the Bible.

Christians believe the Bible is somehow inspired by God. If this is the case, why would God allow such stories to become a part of the Bible?

Enns answers this (and I agree) by showing that God lets God’s people tell the story. The picture of God, in the case of the Canaanite annihilation, was not an accurate picture of God, but it was the way they viewed God at the time. Enns writes, “the ancient Israelites were an ancient tribal people. They saw the world and their God in tribal ways.”

I would add that we should be careful here to not think ourselves as having it all figured out. In another three thousand years I am sure people will look back upon us in many of the same ways we do to ancient people now.

So the story of the Canaanite annihilation is not a factually true story and God did not command genocide, but it was rather the view of ancient Israel of God as a tribal warrior deity similar to all other tribal warrior deities in the surrounding areas?

Yes.

Recently Richard Rohr wrote, “But, some will say, the Bible talks about God’s wrath. Yes, it does, but I would say that it was the people who were hateful at that point, and we wanted to create a God in our image. So we justify our wrath, our vengeance, and our violence by saying, ‘God orders us to kill all the Canaanites.'”

In other words, God works within whatever system or view humanity has of God at the time – even views that are not completely accurate (doesn’t this makes sense? If God is working through our limited views now, which I’m sure are not completely accurate, than our experiences would confirm this). We are limited in our perspectives. We see the world through certain lenses that our science, technology, archeology, cosmology makes available to us at the time. In the story of the Canaanites, the people of the Bible viewed their God in much the same way other people viewed their gods. Israel saw the world in much the same way other ancient people saw the world.

If the Bible is not an inerrant rule book or manual for life, what then is the Bible?

According to Enns, the Bible works, “as a model for our own spiritual journey. All of us are on a journey of faith to encounter God from our point of view.”

“The Bible presents a variety of points of view about God and what it means to walk in his ways. This stands to reason, since the biblical writers lived at different times, in different places, and wrote for different reasons. In reading the Bible we are watching the  spiritual journeys of people long ago.”

The Bible is inspired because it reveals the story of God that climaxes in Christ, yet it is always written from the perspective of humans and humans have different ways of seeing things.

So the Bible is not a simple, laid out, harmonious story that we just passively absorb. The Bible is a complex, multilayered, collection of stories with different perspectives that don’t always align. Thus, we are invited to enter into the story, engage with the story, learn from the story, struggle with the story, wrestle with the story, and even…yes…disagree with the story, in hope that we can continue the story of God in the present and into the future – this is actually what the people in the Bible were also doing when they wrote it down.

Advent Reflections 1 of 2

Hi, my name is Aaron and I’m a busy-holic.

It’s true, for much of my life I have been addicted to being busy.

I tend to idolize those who seem to be doing so much which only exacerbates the problem. I see those who are married, have kids, job, volunteer, and usually jungle a few other things while being extremely successful – if I’m honest I envy them and want to be like them.

I cannot begin to count how many times in my life where I have had a full plate and am doing well, only to add more stuff onto an already full plate (eventually you would think I would learn). This leaves me feeling overwhelmed and also at a point where now I have to say no to something I have already said yes to.

If you say yes to to many things, you cannot do them all well.

busy

So this is only the second year I have really entered into advent. By “enter” I mean engage in  on a daily basis, with reflections, Scriptures and prayers while meeting on a weekly basis with a church that emphasizes the liturgical year.

The past several months I have embraced being a stay at home dad. While previously  my wife and I shared much of the house duties as we were both in school, I have taken the majority of the duties because my wife is in medical school. I struggled with this for a time, but have found that I actually enjoy it…well at least most of the time;)

What this has taught me and continues to teach me is to find the sacred in everyday, ordinary life. In other words, the dishes, the laundry, walking the dog, cleaning the bathrooms, vacuuming the floor, studying for school, spending time with our kids…these are all sacred things.

I am learning that I cannot juggle as many things as some people can and that’s ok.

It’s ok.

It’s ok to say no.

It’s ok to embrace my limits.

Only in saying no and embracing my limits can I actually do a few things well.

Now advent is that time of the year were we live in anticipation. We should be slowing down to make room in our lives for Christ, and yet our lives tend to ramp up like it’s on crack!

So, this advent season (and actually the last several months) I have felt invited to slow down, to see things in a different way, and to embrace my limitations.

Maybe you can relate to my addiction to busyness, overproduction, and saying yes to to many things? I now believe most people can really only do about 2 or 3 things well and we only hurt ourselves when we add to many more.

I invite you to ask

what are the 2 or 3 most important things in my life that I feel called to or that are most important right now.

Then I give you permission to say no to all the other things that demand your time, money, talents etc.